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+++ b/newhardware.mdwn
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
# New hardware platform
"What the RUDE WORD, RUDE WORD, RUDE WORD is this?" Anna sits at her
-desk, one hand one her mouse, speaking loudly. "ROOOBBIIIINN! Come
+desk, one hand on her mouse, speaking loudly. "ROOOBBIIIINN! Come
heeeereee!" In a minute Robin shuffles in through Anna's doorway.
"What's wrong? You're upsetting the whole office with your screaming."
Anna almost never raises her voice. When she does, it's upsetting to
@@ -23,12 +23,12 @@ deadlines now?"
Anna grimaces. "Of course he doesn't. If they actually do this, it may
mean we lose the project." Robin nods. "And that means we're in a
-trash compactor, the walls a moving inward, and something just touched
+trash compactor, the walls are moving inward, and something just touched
my leg. We were already desperate when we landed this project."
Anna nods. "Exactly. I better meet with Sam to try to stop this." She
buries her face in her hands. She sobs once. "I don't know, sometimes
-it's just feels like too much. Clients seem to always try to shoot a
+it just feels like too much. Clients seem to always try to shoot a
project in the head, just when things start moving along well."
Robin shifts uneasily in her chair, then gets up and stands next to
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ SmartHome have just let us know they want to update their hardware
platform. I called this meeting to tell you that and for us to discuss
the situation together."
-The the room is filled with a cacophony. Anna lets it continue for a
+The room is filled with a cacophony. Anna lets it continue for a
moment, then raises her hand. The room quiets instantly. An outsider
might mistake it for military discipline, but it's a habit borne from
collaborating with the same equals for a long time, and from respect
@@ -228,7 +228,7 @@ SmartHome asking where and when.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-The assembles at the office. It's 8 in the morning, and for most of
+They assemble at the office. It's 8 in the morning, and for most of
them this is unusually early. Anna arrives with a car, the team piles
in, and they go to the SmartHome office.
@@ -237,7 +237,7 @@ into SmartHome HQ and the large meeting room they've visited before.
The SmartHome CEO, Lasse, and other members of top management are
already there, as well as Sam, and several senior developers.
-The CEO stands up. He's dressed in a navy blue suite, with a red tie.
+The CEO stands up. He's dressed in a navy blue suit, with a red tie.
In his late 50s, somewhat stout but not fat, looking serious, but
calm, he coughs to get everyone's attention. "Welcome, everyone, I
apologise for the abrupt meeting, but we need to resolve this issue of
@@ -264,7 +264,7 @@ members take a deep breath, let their shoulders sag, and look at Anna
and Robin.
Robin stands up. She looks around the room. Those who know her, can
-see she's angry from the say her lips form a thin straight line. "Sir,
+see she's angry from the way her lips form a thin straight line. "Sir,
if you hire experts and ignore what they say, you are an imbecile. In
the current situation, your choices are to go bankrupt or to let us
help your developers save your company. It seems you want to go
@@ -273,7 +273,7 @@ you can just retire early. Very well, we don't wish to work for you.
Have a good day."
She pushes her chair back and steps away from the table. Sam puts his
-hand on Lasse's arm, and whisper urgently in his ear. Robin reaches
+hand on Lasse's arm, and whispers urgently in his ear. Robin reaches
the conference room door, puts her hand on the handle, and looks back.
The rest of the Team have quietly also stood up and are forming a
queue behind Robin. Anna is red her face, and her hands are shaking.
@@ -323,7 +323,7 @@ out.
Sam and Nick stand still and look at the departing group. The
exit doors closes, with the soft thump and click of its automatic
mechanism. They continue to stand still for a moment. Finally, Nick
-speaks. "I guess we need to back inside. But I really don't want to."
+speaks. "I guess we need to go back inside. But I really don't want to."
Sam's shoulders droop. He looks back at the conference door. Then at
the exit door. "I have to go back inside. You can have a family
@@ -331,7 +331,7 @@ medical emergency if you like."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-The Team drive back to their office in silence. They gather in the
+The Team drives back to their office in silence. They gather in the
kitchen. Robin makes a pot of tea. The silence continues while the tea
is brewing. Bert takes out everyone's mug and puts them in a row on
the kitchen table, and takes out two kinds of milk from the fridge,
@@ -440,7 +440,7 @@ overnight."
The Team has gathered in the kitchen again. A new round of tea has
been brewed and served.
-"Okay, so this is bit of an interesting development. Sam called. He
+"Okay, so this is a bit of an interesting development. Sam called. He
says that SmartHost is having a civil war and he wants to know what it
would take to bring us back, or least re-open negotiations with them.
Assuming his side wins. What do we think about that?"