rename chapter to Audit

3 files changed, 363 insertions, 2 deletions

diff --git a/audit.mdwn b/audit.mdwn
new file mode 100644
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+++ b/audit.mdwn
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+# Audit
+
+Andy types into IRC. "Anna, SH devs r ask 4 PHP on our platform; we
+shld talk b4 resp".
+
+Anna is in her office, reading a sheaf of printed papers. A quiet ping
+alerts her that her attention is needed. By policy, she's the only on
+in the Team to have audible notifications. Everyone else's ability to
+concentrate on the task at hand is paramount, but Anna is the manager,
+outside interface, and general fire fighter, and sometimes needs to
+react quickly.
+
+She turns to her keyboard, types in a password and taps her security
+to unlock her screen. She reads, then types. "Andy, sure thing. Come
+to my office when suitable. We'll escalate to others if need be."
+
+In a minute, Andy walks into Anna's office, with a mug in his hand.
+He sits in Anna's visitor chair, and takes a sip, then a deep breath.
+
+"So, here's the sit. SmartHome opened a ticket in our issue tracker to
+ask for PHP on our platform. I've not responded yet, I figured we
+should discuss it first."
+
+Anna nods. "We've rejected PHP before, for other customers. It's hard
+to write secure, reliable software in the language."
+
+"Indeed. That continues to be my opinion, and I'm happy to respond
+that way now, except how is our relationship with SmartHome? It's been
+dicey several times in this project. Managing that relationship falls
+on you, so it's your call."
+
+Anna leans back, and crosses her hands behind her neck. "Hmmm. Yes,
+you're right. I'll need to think about this. I'm about to go out for
+lunch anyway. I might take a walk and think about this. Don't do
+anything until I come back, please."
+
+"Agreed. If SmartHome presses the issue, I'll just say that we're
+considering the request, and will respond later today. OK?"
+
+"Perfect. In fact, add that to the ticket, it'll buy us some peace and
+keep them calm."
+
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+Anna walks on the pavement, hands behind her back and eyes on the
+ground. Lunch was lovely, and she's thinking deeply. She comes to the
+building where the Team office is, and enters though the front door,
+using her key. She walks the stairs to the right floor, and enters
+through the locked door. The entire Team is standing in the entrance
+hall.
+
+"What's up?"
+
+Andy speaks. "We didn't want to disturb you at lunch, but when the
+downstairs door informed us that you're coming in, we gathered to wait
+you. We have a situation."
+
+Nina steps forward. "SmartHome are upset that we're not adding PHP at
+once, and are saying they won't let us audit their software if we
+won't add PHP."
+
+Anna takes off her coat and hangs it on a hook on the wall. "I see."
+
+Bert shakes his head. "That's not all. They're also claiming our
+system is insecure, with known holes."
+
+Nina's head turns towards Berg. "What?"
+
+Berg nods. "Yeah. They added that to the ticket just now. I'd already
+heard you start moving to meet Anna."
+
+Robin puts her face in her hands. "This is getting to be too much."
+
+Anna hugs Robin. "Let me go read the communications myself, and see
+what I can do." She looks at the others. "It's not a healthy
+relationship we have with them. It's antagonistic. It's quite far from
+a collaboration."
+
+She takes a step towards her office. "I'll handle this. We'll survive.
+You should all take a break in the kitchen. Vent as much as you feel
+like."
+
+The others look at each other and go to the kitchen. Andy puts the
+kettle on. Bert puts a row of mugs on the counter, and small tea
+strainers in each. He then starts taking jars from a cupboard, and
+measuring tea into each strainer. The water boils, and Andy pours tea
+into each mug. Bert puts milk and honey on the table, and starts
+putting the mugs in front of everyone. The Team members each start
+their own timer in their watches or phones.
+
+Robin lifts the strainer and examines the tea, then puts it back into
+the water. "I'm tired of working with SmartHome."
+
+Nina makes a grimace. "Me too. Incompetent doesn't cover it. I can
+work with the incompetent. But this company, they're also nasty."
+
+Andy lifts his strainer into a bowl in the center of the table. "I
+don't like the situation either, but to be fair, we started the
+collaboration in an aggressive way."
+
+Nina looks at him, with her eyebrows high. "Are you saying this is my
+fault?"
+
+Robin also puts her strainer into the bowl. "No, it's not. It wasn't
+your decision to use that approach. It was mine."
+
+Andy nods. "I don't think it was wrong of us. They needed to be
+convinced. But maybe we could've built a more collaborative
+relationship since."
+
+Bert gets rid of his the strainer. "I'm not sure we could have. We
+knew, going in, that they have a toxic culture. Brogrammers, we said."
+
+Robin sips some tea. "Yeah, and all that entails. They were always
+going to dislike bringing in outsiders to fix their mess. Us bending
+over backwards would only have made it harder to collaborate."
+
+"I know there's some real poopheads there. But they're not all like
+that. I like Nick, for example. We get along well." Nina puts away her
+strainer, and adds honey and milk. "Professionally and as friends."
+
+Robin and Andy look at each other, and shrug. Nina stares into her
+mug. "I don't understand why he works there, given the poopheads."
+
+Robin takes a gulp. "Remember, he's quite young. I think it's his
+first job. He's only just graduated and doesn't know that it can be
+better."
+
+"He's not much younger than me. I know better." Nina looks up at
+Robin. "I don't want him to become a poophead."
+
+"Let's try to make sure it doesn't happen. But here's the thing, you
+started working, on your own, as a teenager. Your had to have your
+mother run the business on paper, you were so young you couldn't found
+a company in your own name, but you did all the real work. Found
+customers, built software, and so on. Then you got hired at a couple
+of consulting agencies, before we formed the Team and you joined. This
+is literally Nick's first job. He's never even had a summer job, or
+been an intern."
+
+"I guess." Nina pushes her mug away, stands up, and shudders. "It's
+just, I mean, he's nice, but I can see him drifting towards the dark
+side. He's starting to show macho tendencies." Nina walks to the sink,
+turns on the faucet, gets her hands wet, and rubs her face.
+
+"Not good." Robin drinks some tea slowly. "He should get out and move
+to another job. But we can't tell him that. It'd be against the
+contract we have with SmartHome."
+
+Nina dries her face with a paper towel. "Yeah. But as soon as we're
+done with SmartHome, I'm having a talk with him."
+
+"Mmm. That might technically still be against the contract. Unless you
+just tell him, friend to friend, that you're worried about his macho
+tendencies."
+
+Andy clears his throat. "Nick aside, what are we thinking about
+SmartHome? Is there anything good about them?"
+
+Everyone looks around. Nobody says anything.
+
+Anna walks in. "How are we doing?"
+
+"I just asked if there's anything good about SmartHome, apart from
+Nick. Nobody had anything to offer."
+
+Anna nods. "I'm starting to feel that way. I have an update. I called
+Sam. I told him we're going to respond by email soon. We need to sort
+this out now, anyway, so let's talk. Here's what I suggest..."
+
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+"Hi, Nick." Nina is sitting on a bench in the park near the Team's
+office. Nick sits next to her. He has two ice cream cones and hands
+one to Nina.
+
+"I've some bad news, I'm afraid. The guys at work are upset at you.
+The Team in general, and you in particular, Nina."
+
+"Oh?" Nina licks her ice cream, catching melted rivulets before they
+drop.
+
+"Apparently you're a bitch. And that's the nicest term they you."
+
+"I don't mind being a bitch, but I enjoy knowing why poopheads think
+I'm a bitch." Nina takes a bit of the cone. "Mmm, this is good ice
+cream."
+
+"That email you sent explaining in detail why the claims that your
+platform is insecure were wrong, it made a couple of the guys look
+stupid. That's what started the tirades." Nick doesn't lick, just
+takes bites of ice cream.
+
+"I just held a mirror to them. They were looking stupid already, but
+they didn't see it without a mirror. Looking at version numbers to
+determine if there's known security holes is such a beginner mistake."
+
+"I agree, of course. We were taught at school to try if the hole is
+there, never mind what the version number says."
+
+"What else are they saying about me? Don't try spare my feelings. I'm
+unlikely to feel insulted by your co-workers. They have been have been
+weighed, they have been measured, and they have been found wanting. In
+what world could they possibly best me?"
+
+"Hah. Adhemar. Well, since you ask, they think you're variously
+lesbian, frigid, or a transvestite. Apparently a girl can't be as good
+as you are at what you do, unless they have boy genes, or aren't
+having sex with boys."
+
+"Oh, that. Not new." Nina finishes off the ice cream cone, the pointy
+end of the cornet. "Still, shows they're not just poopheads, but
+stupid. Macho poops often are."
+
+"Yeah. I told Sam as much."
+
+"Well done. I knew I liked you for a reason."
+
+"And then I resigned."
+
+"What? Seriously?"
+
+"Yeah, I've not enjoyed working there for a long time. They pay well,
+and it's nice to work on products that a lot of people use, but the
+culture isn't a good fit for me. I think toxic is the word."
+
+"Good boy."
+
+"Uh, and that reminds me of something I've been meaning to bring up. I
+like you too. I like you much more than I would've ever expected. I
+really enjoy all our chats."
+
+"I'm glad to hear that, but..."
+
+Nick raises his hand, showing his palm. "Wait. Before you say
+anything, I need to finish. I like you, I enjoy spending time with
+you, but... but I don't like you like you. I'm not attracted to you.
+Sorry."
+
+"Oh, good. I was just going to say the same thing."
+
+The two look at each other.
+
+"Well, that's not how I expected this to go." Nick tilts his head.
+"I'm not offended, but I'm curious. Why aren't you attracted? Am I
+unattractive? Repulsive?"
+
+"You first. I'll answer after you tell me why you aren't attracted to
+me. Wait! I'll text my reason, and you'll say your reason before
+reading the text."
+
+Nina takes out her phone, and types quickly with two thumbs for
+several seconds. Nick's phone plays a few bars of the Imperial March.
+
+"The reason I'm not attracted to you, and I've not told this to many
+people ever, is that I'm gay."
+
+Nina nod. "Read the text."
+
+Nick raises his phone and pokes at it. "Oh. You knew. How did you
+know?"
+
+"Small things. You never look down my blouse or at my ass when I bend
+over in the lab. You might just be very well brought up, but even well
+brought up boys do that when they think they aren't being observed.
+The lab has hidden security cameras, and I checked."
+
+"Oh. Well, I am gay, but nobody else has ever guessed. I only came out
+to my parents a couple of years ago."
+
+"How did that go?"
+
+"Very well. They accepted it and me right away, and have been quite
+supportive."
+
+"Glad to hear that."
+
+"It's one more reason to leave SmartHome. The guys there keep making
+crass jokes about gay people."
+
+"When is your last day? I mean, I'm glad you're getting our, I don't
+think it's a good place for you, or anyone, but I'm sorry to lose an
+inside contact."
+
+Nick smiles broadly. "Today, in fact. I'm not going back. Sam was very
+understanding, and I've not used any of my accrued vacation, so I made
+a deal that I'm garden leave for a month, and they won't need to pay
+me for unused vacation. Also, I won't raise a ruckus with the union
+about the way gay people are treated there."
+
+"What will you do next?"
+
+"Well, I'm in a good place financially. I've some savings, and my
+parents are quite well off, so I don't have to find a new job at once.
+I'm going to be looking carefully. I like how the Team looks, but
+since I can't join you, due to my employment contract and your
+contract with SmartHome, I'll look for somewhere else that's nice."
+
+"Yeah, I was going to say that we can't hire you, unfortunately."
+
+"Aye. I took a semester of contract law and one of employment law in
+school. I figured it would be useful to know that stuff."
+
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+Anna types leisurely. "Good new, team. I had a lunch meeting with Sam.
+We still have a customer, and they've agreed in writing that there
+will be third-party security audits of both their devices, and
+separately of our platform, and they're paying for that. We can
+continue work, and also, I think we are seeing the end of the project
+looming. We'll pull through this one yet."
+
+She clicks the send button, then turns to face Robin, who's sitting in
+the visitor chair. "How are you doing, Robin? I'm a little worried,
+you've seemed a bit on the edge, lately."
+
+Robin doesn't move a muscle. A moment goes past. "I'm coping, but
+it's been hard. Not just work, but some other stuff as well."
+
+"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want to tell me about it?"
+
+"You know I'm involved with some free software projects in my free
+time? It turns out that one of them has some unpleasant people that I
+don't want to be associated with." She sighs. "See, there's a
+diversity statement, formally ratified by voting. It says we no matter
+how you identify yourself or how others perceive you. Now a RUDE WORD
+poophead claims that means we must accept Nazis. Actual, literal,
+card-carrying Nazis."
+
+"Oh. That doesn't make any sense."
+
+"No, it really doesn't. But there's a few members who agree, the usual
+suspects when it comes to stirring up trouble. It seems every big
+project has them. There's also a bunch of outsiders, baiting and
+trolling us."
+
+"Are you coping?"
+
+"I am, for now, but I'm getting tired of having these arguments. They
+keep getting repeated. The project has an arsehole problem: it doesn't
+know what to do with extra ones. I'd like to just kick them out, but
+it's hard to build consensus on that."
+
+Anna stands up. "Hug?"
+
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------'
+
+Bert stops typing. "Well, that's new."
+
+Andy looks up from his screen. "What?"
+
+"On the SmartHome IRC, someone just said they've started liking the CI
+we set up for them."
+
+"Oh? They've not been positive about it before. They've complained
+it's picky and slow."
+
+"Yeah, and someone else said they also liked it. It seems to reduce
+bugs that get merged."
+
+"Maybe there's hope for them yet."
diff --git a/devcont.mdwn b/devcont.mdwn
index d010c7b..a8e5d63 100644
--- a/devcont.mdwn
+++ b/devcont.mdwn
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-# Development continues
+# Audit
 
 Andy types into IRC. "Anna, SH devs r ask 4 PHP on our platform; we
 shld talk b4 resp".
diff --git a/index.mdwn b/index.mdwn
index 4110cec..fae4528 100644
--- a/index.mdwn
+++ b/index.mdwn
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ There may be contradictions. Retconning in the future is possible.
 * Chapter 5: [[Assault]]
 * Chapter 6: [[Ambush]]
 * Chapter 7: [[Arrest]]
-* Chapter 8: [[Development continues|devcont]]
+* Chapter 8: [[Audit]]
 * to be continued
 
 # Meta